COPING WITH ANGER
It is the rare survivor that understands and handles anger in an effective way. Many survivors are completely numb and do not allow themselves to feel their anger. Others direct their anger outward, destroying property, yelling and screaming, name-calling or even becoming abusive themselves. Still others direct it inward in the form of depression, self-hatred, and self-harm or neglect.
Babies have all kinds of habits, needs, and emotions that parents prohibit: sloppiness, anger, greediness, jealousy, self-centered demands, etc. As a child, we all learned that parts of ourselves were bad. This self-hatred becomes automated in the form of depression, which both punishes us and drowns out other feelings too. understading anger. Theories and Facts from Psychological Self-Help at Mental Health Net
The adult survivor needs to learn that his or her anger can be experienced, handled and used for a positive purpose without a catastrophe. As one survivor put it, she was afraid if she ever got angry, the whole world would burn down. For many survivors, anger was a catastrophic experience in their households. They have trouble imagining that anger can be anything but a profoundly destructive force or that there are skills one can learn to manage it effectively.
definitions of anger, learning how to identify when you are angry, and ways you can use anger as a positive force for change. However, before anger can be used as a positive force for change, it is often necessary to learn how to cope with this overwhelming emotion. This article explores some tools you can use to help you cope with anger. It is important to realize that learning to manage anger (like most recovery steps) is a process, not an event.
Because anger control is basically a set of skills, Gintner said it is important to remember that clients will "strike out" at times. "It is important to prepare your clients for this by having them think of a lapse as a 'slip' versus a sign that the plan doesn't work at all," he said. Handling your anger before it handles you by Sharon Foster, reprinted at CTOnline from Counseling Today, vol. 38, May 1996
The ideas below will give you a set of tools you can pick and choose from in building your own anager management strategy. Use what works for you. If one of the tools does not work for you, try another. Do not be afraid to put your own spin on these ideas to provide a truly customized plan for you.
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